Tomorrow we will gather as a community of faith for the Feast of Shrove Tuesday. This is it - the opportunity to clear the cupboards of rich, fatty foods - to eat pancakes and sausages covered with syrup, for dinner, with friends! It is one of the most anticipated meals of the year at our house because it is so unusual and quite frankly because it looks a lot like dessert. Greg and I decided long ago to embrace this feast in the Christian calendar because at the time it was novel for us. But as these rhythms of keeping time have become established in our lives days such as Shrove Tuesday have become more meaningful and important. The truth is Tuesday and Wednesday provide a good juxtaposition to one another. Tuesday we are full of merriment (and sugar), the home kitchen or the church basement are a buzz with activity and chatter. And on Wednesday we walk into the naeve - a profound quiet and a deep thoughtfulness has fallen upon the church that just yesterday was so loud and boisterous. There is a place for both feasting and fasting in our lives as disciples. Today we will be reminded of our own frailty, of our depravity, of our need for and dependence on God. The ashes imposed upon our foreheads are in the shape of the cross the reminder that this struggle is not futile, there is redemption, grace, mercy in the cross of Christ.
In the Ash Wednesday Invitation we read, "I invite you therefore, in the name of the Lord, to observe a holy Lent by self examination, penitence, prayer, fasting and almsgiving, and by reading and meditating on the word of God. let us kneel before our Creator and Redeemer."
How can invite Children into this holy season in our homes?
Most often adults talk about giving something up for Lent and this language may be picked up by children. One year after hearing a conversation between Greg and I, one of our daughters decided she wanted to lend her doll to her friend for the duration of Lent! This was how she understood the concept and wanted to express it. Though our conversations often revolve around giving things up it is helpful to think and talk more broadly about Lenten practices. What should we give ourselves to in this season? How can we make time to think about Jesus? How can we slow down and begin to pay attention? What might help us to reflect upon our attachments and attach to Christ? What have I shut away behind some door in my heart that I need to deal with? In what ways might our family learn and grow together? What do we need to attend to in our life together - in our relationships with one another, in our sabbath practice, in our shared faith?
It is easy to feel quickly overwhelmed by these questions; by the thought of giving something up or adding something to our daily lives. I like to begin by looking for places where can I be just a little more intentional in our life together. For me that begins with the routines that are already established; is there anything I can do when we are gathered around the table, or in the car, or on the nights everyone is home, or when I am tucking a child in, that might draw our attention to Christ? If your family is not in the practice of praying before meals, this might be a good time to pray together giving thanks for daily bread, acknowledging Christ as the bread of life, the one who sustains us, giving thanks for food we have. At bedtime you might want to say a prayer together or a psalm with your child. I have found that my kids have learned scripture without intentionally working on memorizing just because we have prayed or sung the Lord's prayer or other scripture with them at bedtime.
At the end of the day you may want to practice the examen - the habit of looking over our day and reflecting on where we have felt the presence of God or the absence of God in the day. Put simply to children, where did you feel joy, what made you happy? Where did you feel pain or what made you sad? This can be a good way to begin to pay attention, invite and notice God in our daily lives. Older children may want to practice this privately and journal some of their thoughts.
One friend of mine had a little prayer corner for her children who were both preschool age at that time. In the prayer corner there were rocks and a candle and a children's bible. They visited the special space each day, lit the candle, read a story and then wrote the name of someone they were praying for or something they were grateful for that day on a rock. It was beautiful to see that space change through the season of lent - to see the names, words, pictures accumulating on the rocks and the candle melting down. I am sure my friend, will cherish that space and those words/ prayers for a long, long time.
Other have found that the practice of gratitude has been helpful for their families in the season of lent. What can cure our insatiable desire for more stuff? How can we help our children to see what they do have and not what they don't have? Perhaps the discipline of gratitude is a beginning place for this. Each day at dinner or a bedtime have each person in the family write down something they are grateful for and put it in a jar. On each Sunday throughout the Lenten season you can read what you have written throughout the week and be reminded of the good gifts of God in your lives.
This is a good time to acquaint our children and ourselves with scripture. Read from a Bible that is at your child's reading level; there are quite a few good Children's Bibles at different reading levels. This year with our kids we are reading from Exodus - there are so many great stories in exodus and the people of Israel wandering in the desert is a good image for this season. You may prefer to read some psalms during Lent or some stories from the gospels, there are reading plans available online, if you are interested. Maybe you would like to do the story of David or Esther or Ruth, or Jonah (so many great stories to dig into!). Sally Lloyd Jones has just published a book called 'Thoughts to Make Your Heart Sing" it contains "simple but profound spiritual truths from the Bible... it draws insights from creation, history, science, the writings of great thinkers and preachers and writers." Each excerpt is quite short but gives a lot to think about and the illustrations are beautiful. This book is suitable for young readers who might like to read on their own.
One thing I reflect on often is how much of our life revolves around us - YIKES! We have lot of tension with the overwhelming force of the culture we are in; it is too easy to be swept along. How can we orient ourselves and our children towards God in a culture that is steeped in consumerism and and all kinds of idolatry? This is a complex question that we as families and faith communities need to be grappling with. Maybe a beginning place for us is to be intentional about looking beyond ourselves - have a neighbour over for dinner, learn about social issues in our city, serve together as a family, de-clutter and give stuff away. Learn about a region of the world (if you have a sponsor child perhaps you could learn a little about the country he/she lives in - if your kids are old enough put them in charge of doing the research), give money towards a local or global project. I know some families have a jar containing acts of kindness (shovelling a driveway, writing a note to a friend, having lunch with someone new or someone who might be lonely/left out etc.) each week, each person in the family draws one card and does whatever is indicated on the paper. I imagine this produces a lot of conversation as people share their experiences over the weeks.
Pick one thing, be gentle with yourself (I am reminding myself of this as I finally finish writing this four days after I started!), slow down, pay attention and lean into this season of preparation for the great celebration of Easter.
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